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The ‘Sad Girl’ Aesthetic


Artwork by Nayoon Cha-Ryu


Unhealthy amounts of screen time, listening to Lana del Rey, and the romanticisation of mental illnesses. These are all traits commonly associated with the modern-day ‘Sad Girl’ - a term you may have become quite familiar with if you have been a user of social media after the 2010s. The term ‘Sad Girl’ itself is quite vague. Anyone can be part of such an easily accessible community; whether it be on Instagram, Twitter (X), TikTok, Tumblr, or Pinterest. Wherever you are in the online world, you are sure to always find that subculture of feminine sorrow, provided you are prepared to be constantly flooded with the same pattern of bleak- sometimes disturbing- images relating to isolation and self-destruction, often hidden behind irony and humour.


‘Sad Girls’

So, what exactly is the ‘Sad Girl’? As writer Kara Angen describes, the ‘Sad Girl’ aesthetic is a ‘trope’ that ‘characterises a set of (often female) musicians, personality types, mental illnesses, and more. It’s a label that has taken a life of its own in internet culture, spawning meme pages that poke fun at those who identify as a ‘Sad Girl,’ and even being fodder for interviews with musicians that have been associated with the ‘Sad Girl’ genre’. This definition refers to the more online context of the term, whereas for others, the aesthetic may be part of a more political statement. As artist and critic Audrey Wollen theorised in 2014, ‘Sad Girls’ is ‘an act of protest’ against systems of masculine power, illustrating female suffering without filters. She argues the aesthetic is a way of ‘subverting those systems, for making the implicit violence visceral and visible’.

Many others have praised the ‘Sad Girl’ as a way for female expression, as it is not limited to any specific medium. Within this community, literature, music, fashion and other various art forms can be created whilst drawing inspiration from the emotions and experiences many women share. Think of Mitski or Lana del Rey’s lyrics, Sylvia Plath’s work in prose and poetry, or movies like Gone Girl and Girl Interrupted which have been referenced and discussed countless times on many platforms, especially Tiktok. In recent years, the term has evolved into a sort of umbrella term for a multitude of related subcultures, such as coquette aesthetics and other trends of fashion and lifestyle. Most notable would be ironic memes and ‘shitposts’ that poke fun at mental illness and toxic traits, often in a tone that minimises the severity of the subject of discussion.

Relatability


Why do so many people, especially young, female teenagers, relate to the ‘Sad Girl’? As mentioned earlier, there may be a political aspect in the recent popularity of the aesthetic as a way of protesting the oppressive nature of the patriarchy in silencing women’s emotions and voices. Historically, in a once male-dominated society, it was true that there was more social pressure on women to behave in a sensible and domestic nature, with more restrictions on etiquette and what they were or were not allowed to say and do. Women are still fighting for their voices to be heard today, in a society where many industries are still dominated by men. It can be argued that the ‘Sad Girl’ aesthetic pulls away from traditional methods of strikes, marches or boycotts for women to express their opinions, instead opting to take advantage of the influential potential of social media.

In relation to this, the ‘Sad Girl’ may be used to challenge negative stigma and potentially raise awareness regarding women’s mental health. Oftentimes, posts in the community may imply or even explicitly reference female hysteria; a dismissive medical diagnosis for women from past patriarchal societies whose behaviour was deemed too different from the standardised female, leading to the mistreatment, negligence, and slow advances in the field of mental health. While that has now significantly improved, it would be ignorant to say that modern-day stigma has become a trivial obstacle for those seeking help with their wellbeing. This is thanks to the mostly negative portrayal of mental illnesses by media outlets, and a surprising lack of awareness among the general population in this day and age.

However, as more and more people are diagnosed and learning more about mental disorders, the ‘Sad Girl’ community deserves credit for bringing this knowledge to light and serving as a way to provide education and resources for mental health. The unfiltered and unbiased nature of the ‘Sad Girl’ community plays a huge part in its popularity, as ordinary people can create viral content that could be shown to millions thanks to the reach of social media. In the case of mental health and mental disorders, individuals can document their real experiences and find niche but relatable aspects of their situation, which will connect with other users in ways informative handouts or lectures will never be capable of. Unlike corporations, traditional media outlets, or celebrities, an individual user of social media is more likely to resonate and be relatable with others, as they would share similar life experiences or worldviews.

A very clear example of this is in 2020, during the Covid-19 pandemic. Most of the world was in quarantine, experiencing isolation and loneliness, as well as struggles with finances. Many would have turned to sharing and supporting others via social media, and we have seen the rise of many influencers who were not in the industry initially but were now being brought into the spotlight. In contrast, many celebrities were criticised by the public, as many felt they were ‘so far removed from reality’ with a considerably more privileged lifestyle compared to normal civilians. You may recall the explosive backlash Gal Gadot’s celebrity cover of Imagine - John Lennon received for its apparent ‘tone-deafness’ and disconnection from reality. Amidst all this, people yearned for a distraction- a sort of coping mechanism. This is where the ‘Sad Girl’ aesthetic can come into play; it allows anyone to share with others and feel accompanied in their stressful situation.

There are generally very low barriers to entering the community: all one would need is a device, access to the internet, and some type of photo editing software installed. On Instagram, the format is often a quick, simple image with some type of caption or text, with a tone that is blatantly sarcastic (or inexplicably far removed from reality) and humorous. Humour is arguably the most important component; it gives a sense of lightheartedness and reassurance to the audience, connecting and engaging on a more personal level.

The Problem

When does aestheticising turn into fetishization? When do sarcasm and irony turn into ignorance and tone-deafness? And when do harmless jokes as a form of coping mechanism become dismissive and insensitive? It is always difficult to draw a clear line between irony and sincerity. Although the parodic nature of ‘Sad Girls’ may be comedic and comforting to some, others may find it a mockery or in poor taste of the real and serious mental illnesses some users of social media experience. Oftentimes, content associated with this aesthetic makes light of serious disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, or other mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression. Seeing and engaging with these types of posts, although they may be ironic and humorous at first, can lead individuals to feel more and more overwhelmed by the negative feelings the aesthetic discussed, and the algorithmic nature of social media which will show users posts that they engage with over and over again can result in a seemingly never-ending cycle of ‘Sad Girl’ content on one’s recommended feed.

Even though becoming more open about the subject of mental health helps to educate more people, the posts often contain a dismissive undertone, where instead of encouraging individuals to seek professional resources in hopes of getting better, the community seems to be disinterested in working on recovery. Instead of dwelling in a sadness that may have become your comfort zone, would spending time on self-improvement and self-care not be more beneficial to you? As Amber H. Levis describes, ‘Simply put, the Sad Girl reeks of complacency. She takes the sadness that has been handed down for generations and makes a home in it; she dresses it in a turtleneck and blankets it in dreamy, wistful soundscapes. She makes us see her sadness in all its glory without any real appeal for change.’


Conclusion

The ‘Sad Girl’ aesthetic may have originated from an online community of individuals supporting each other through a challenging period of their life or as an act of protest against social stigmas about women and mental health. As a result of social media’s capabilities and the relatable nature of the humorous and ironic content shared, it has risen to popularity as a way for anyone to express themselves and their struggles, mainly with feelings of loneliness and mental illnesses. However, over time, the subculture has leaned towards becoming an unhelpful and repetitively negative part of the online world, romanticising serious mental issues and potentially discouraging individuals from getting the resources on well-being that could be life-saving. Although the ‘Sad Girl’ aesthetic may be a fascinating rabbit hole of internet subcultures to explore, overconsumption can, over time, be capable of harming your mental health, worldview, and outlook on life.


References

Levis, A. (2022, October 27). A Pathetic Aesthetic | Magazine | The Harvard Crimson. https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2022/10/27/sad-girl-aesthetic/

Angan, K. (2022, October 10). Beyond the trope: Unpacking the ‘sad girl’ RAPPLER. https://www.rappler.com/life-and-style/arts-culture/beyond-trope-unpacking-sad-girl/

Tunnicliffe, A. (2015, July 20). Audrey Wollen On The Power of Sadness. Nylon. https://www.nylon.com/articles/audrey-wollen-sad-girl-theory


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