‘Rejection’ is the word many fear in our society. There are multiple types of rejections that occur, with the most common ones being related to relationships or work. But you know what they all have in common? They all make you feel unworthy, embarrassed, and ashamed. In the end, they all result in either depression or self-doubt. Rejection is a daily thing that we will encounter for the rest of our lives, but is anyone not negatively affected by it? Of course not; everyone would have a knife-stabbing feeling in their hearts after they felt like they weren’t good enough to be accepted for the role they dreamed of from a young age. Therefore, through this blog, I want to provide not only information on how to overcome rejections but also a blog where people can relate to and refer to when needed.
You might be wondering… What kind of rejection will this blog focus on? For this specific blog, it will be about rejections of applications and interviews with their effects on our mental health and ways to overcome them.
When an email is sent your way with results from an interview or application you have spent all your efforts on, you would be expecting a line stating: ‘Congratulations! You have been…’. We will all be hoping for that one line to pop up, filling our hearts with self-pride, excitement, and a sense of success. However, when you see the line, ‘We are very sorry to inform you that...', you immediately have a feeling of a knife stabbing into your spine, with a flush of cold blood exploding everywhere like an atomic bomb. As time passes, your vision starts to become blurry, with tears gushing down your face and a sense of disappointment, self-shame, and a mindset that you are a failure.
Of course, overcoming those kinds of rejections is one of the most logical and important things to do in order to keep going forward for a better chance of success. However, everyone knows that it is almost impossible! It’s like believing the world is round, but you're contradicting yourself by saying that the world is flat. You might be wondering, out of all the examples I could give, why did I refer to the world being flat? It already has been proven that the world is round by Satellite pictures, scientific research and more. Then why this? Actually, this is a type of metaphor, that links to this one quote from the book ‘Shatter Me’ by Tahereh Mafi:
‘The world is flat. I know because I was tossed right off the edge, and I've been trying to hold on for 17 years. I've been trying to climb back up for 17 years, but it's nearly impossible to beat gravity when no one is willing to give you a hand.’ - ‘Shatter Me’ by Tahereh Mafi, page 29
Through rejections, we all feel like we are getting tossed off the edge of the earth, thinking that we aren’t good enough for the position, job, or university. In fact, as stated, it is nearly impossible to bring oneself back up because we don’t have a hand anyone would be willing to give. Of course we have parents, counsellors, and Christian fathers around us, but to be fairly honest, would they be helpful? Wouldn’t they say the same incentives over and over again on how to overcome rejections? For example, some might say: ‘They shouldn’t impact you entirely; you should learn from this experience and apply it somewhere else.’ or something like ‘God has your path planned out for you, and this specific rejection is for you to learn from'. Those are some of the MOST cliché lines I heard throughout my life… And to be honest, they really didn’t help. In fact, some people might even refer to the 5 stages of rejection/greif: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and ️ acceptance. Even though this is accurate, the teachers in school refer to it too much, to the point where it starts to become a little tedious to think of.
You might be wondering... Then how do I overcome those rejections? Do I just sink into them and never climb back up the flat earth? Personally, I too have received various rejections from many places and occasions, but you know what got me back on my feet? Firstly, I would pour my tears out, because the more I kept my tears in, the more easy it was for me to explode later in the future. (Listening to music might be a great idea, calming down your nerves and feelings. I highly recommend: ‘To my Youth’ - Bolbbalgan4). After I feel refreshed and tired of crying, I would think deeply to myself. Rather than thinking about what part of me was unworthy, I would think of stuff like ‘how stupid can they be for not having me?’. Of course, I can learn from this kind of rejection through the feedback provided to me, which I can later adapt and adjust for the future, but for now, I would want to put myself first. Rather than drowning and doubting over my qualities, I would want to put myself first; say to yourself that ‘I did my best, and they are the fools who didn’t see that shine in me’.
Therefore, whenever you see a big REJECTION sign, don’t doubt yourself. To be fairly honest, who cares if you get rejected? You are who you are, and no one should ever take that confidence and shine away from you. There are always people in the world who will respect you and honour you as their own in the future. So, don’t waste your tears and time on those rejections; keep pushing forward, and in the end, you will succeed.
P.S. If you want more tips on overcoming rejections, please click this link!
Comments