Written by Avy Lee
Parents always have their children’s best interests in mind. Whether that has to do with academics, extracurricular activities, or social life, parents are always willing to get involved and support their children so they can excel in every aspect of life.
But sometimes, parents’ expectations can go beyond the child’s capabilities, often resulting in unwanted stress and anxiety rather than motivation and support. This phenomenon is known as parental pressure, and it is negatively impacting children much more than you can imagine.
But first of all, what is parental pressure?
Parental pressure is the emotional stress parents tend to put on their children and is often related to academic success, cultural/social standards, and other factors. The leading cause of parental pressure comes out of concern for the welfare of their children and their employment. Another factor is the parent’s past goals they couldn’t achieve that they try to employ in their children, who may have other things in mind. (Bay Atlantic University). Being pressurized into a certain field you lack the passion for will make anyone feel frustrated and anxious. This is especially why merely pursuing a course to make one’s parents happy can make one feel anxious if they lack the skills for that field. Hence, it isn’t an uncommon phenomena when parental pressure leads to mental illness, decreased academic performance, low self esteem, and an unhealthy craving for validation.
Mental Illness:
Students are prone to mental illnesses due to many factors. However, the main factor contributing to mental disease among students is the pressure to succeed in academics (NewPort Institute). This kind of pressure mainly derives from high parental expectations that pressure students to do well in all subjects and pass all exams with excelling grades. The continuous pressure to do well in their academics negatively affects students’ psychological and physical health and increases the chances of developing disorders such as depression, sleep deprivation, and eating disorders (Bay Atlantic University).
Decreased Academic Performance:
A student’s academic performance is affected by numerous factors, starting from both physical to emotional aspects, such as their mental health, amount of sleep, and levels of motivation. When these students have to deal with the pressure from all areas of life in addition to their academics and are expected to do well, they will likely fall low in academic performance. That comes as a result of them starting to question their abilities and trying to get better but never meeting the expectations of parents, who are constantly pushing them to do even better. This in turn results in a negative cycle of parents continuing to pressure their child, when in fact this very pressure is the main factor contributing to the child’s low performance.
Low Self Esteem:
It is a well known concept that as academic pressure increases, psychological health declines. When parents are over-involved and try to exert excessive control over how their child defines themselves in the world through labelling them with their academic performance, this creates fewer opportunities for the child to self-reflect and have positive thoughts and feelings. As a result, the chances for self-confidence and self-esteem are compromised as the child begins to see their worth as a mere grade on a test.
Craving Validation:
It is natural for a child to crave the validation of their parent: even a slightly disappointed expression can send them into a bad mental state. However, when the child relies on an overly-pressuring parent for validation, they will start increasingly questioning their capabilities, slowly leading to fear, anxiety, and other mental illnesses.
Unfortunately, regardless of how stressful parental pressure can be, it isn’t really within our abilities to control the extent of its impact on our life. So, what measures can be taken to at least regulate the level of stress?
Eat Healthy
Some people try to reduce stress by resorting to unhealthy addictions or binge-eating. These actions may seem to help in the moment, but in fact adds to increased levels of stress when looking at the long term. Popular stress-relievers, such as caffeine, can also compound the effects of stress. Consuming a healthy, balanced diet can help combat stress by benefiting both the mind and the body. Make sure to eat plenty of vegetables, fruits, and healthy carbohydrates, as well as drinking an ample amount of water.
Exercise Regularly
In addition to having physical health benefits, exercise has been shown to be a powerful stress reliever. Consider noncompetitive aerobic exercise or movement activities like yoga or Tai Chi, and set reasonable goals for yourself. Aerobic exercise has been shown to release endorphins: natural substances that help you feel better and maintain a positive attitude.
Study and Practice Relaxation Techniques
Taking the time to relax every day helps manage stress and protect your body from the effects of stress. You can choose from a variety of techniques, such as deep breathing, guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation.
Make Time For Hobbies
Setting aside time for activities you enjoy can help you relax. Try to do something every day that makes you feel good, and it will help relieve your stress. It doesn’t have to be a ton of time – even 15 to 20 minutes will do. Some examples of stress-relieving activites include coloring, watching a movie, doing a puzzle, or reading.
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