Artwork by Audrey Kim
As we enter a new cycle, there's a pervasive buzz surrounding New Year's resolutions. It's the time of "new year, new me" mantras, where everyone strives to become the ultimate "it girl" or dedicates this year as “2024the__” However, amidst the glamor, there lies a harsh reality – most of these resolutions fall by the wayside sooner rather than later. In this post, we're diving into the less glamorous side of resolutions, shedding light on the common struggle and offering a fresh perspective on bouncing back from setbacks.
The pressure to adhere to societal expectations can be overwhelming - as I’ve talked about in my previous posts. We’re constantly exposed to photos of perfection - where success on social media is measured by flawless adherence to the latest trends, goals, or the “unattainable.” The truth that most of us come to realize is that setbacks are inevitable, despite our best of intentions. A common trend I see with new years resolutions is that the second we face ourselves with a setback, or a loss of motivation, most of us give up immediately and say “oh well, better luck in 2025!”
Its about time that we challenge that setbacks = failures. A setback is almost inevitable when we’re working towards a new goal. Maybe our new years resolutions have been highly influenced by the “it girl” reels of becoming your highest self in 2024 and the new years resolutions of a self-employed influencer doesn’t fit the lifestyle of a student (who knew?) rather than succumbing to the all-or-nothing mindset, we can embrace the opportunity to redraft that goal. And no - that is not a failure. Lets consider the facts.
Progress is never linear. Learning to walk was never linear, nor was to read, write, or study. We fell down before we got up, we sounded out words before we understood the meaning of them, and our handwriting was barely legible. But we got back up in the end, and now we do these activities without challenge or hesitation. We can redefine our new years resolutions, and the success that comes behind them if we give ourselves permission to. Acknowledging setbacks are not indicators of inadequacy. Maybe a sign that the goal may be unattainable for the lifestyle, or a step towards resilience. New years resolutions require resilience, and most importantly self-compassion. Humans are not robots! We have to stop believing that!
Instead of waiting for next january to roll around in the next 9 months, we can start over wherever we need to. Create a journal of our victories - no matter how small. For example, my new years resolution was to be more productive on the weekends, going to the gym more and studying instead of going out with my friends every weekend. Even if I was the busiest student on the planet, without that school-life balance I would be miserable, burnt out, and be more exhausted staying at home than I would be going to school. I realized this pretty early on when I would get burnt out by the end of Janurary - So I modified my resolution a bit. Now, my goal is to go to the gym and study on the “even” sundays (sundays that are even-numbered) but odd sundays are for whatever I feel like doing.
We cannot reach our new year’s resolutions, if we don’t acknowledge the messy, imperfect reality of life. (social media is fake!) Reject the pressure to conform to the unrealistic expectations, and instead embrace the journey towards self-improvement with compassion. It’s okay to stumble along the way, but what really matters is how we choose to get up in the end. Consider re-writing your resolution - it might save your year!
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