Written by Jina MacNeill
Artwork by Ella Chun
Forgiveness is a foreign concept that is often implied to others. Therefore, it is not taught to allow yourself to be forgiven. As a result, the healthy habits that should be gained from influential factors of life are dismissed and ignored by the quote "Time heals all wounds." But this completely disregards the lives of others who are left alone and forced to rejoin society without the proper means of closure. Growing up, I had always thought that forgiving is only relevant for others because that is the only context adults have used it. The misconception of forgiveness throughout the years has been gradually growing, with adults repeating the same things that they have been taught as a child to “forgive others.” With the continuing generations growing up with the idea that forgiveness is only for another, this can retaliate harshly on society as the word guilt is used as an insult. With guilt having a poor connotation in the community, it’s hard to recognize the positives of dealing with it.
To help out the process, there are 4 R’s of self-forgiveness according to Good Thinking
Responsibility
Accept what has been done, and recognize everyone makes mistakes. This will enable you to show yourself compassion.
Remorse
To use guilt and your emotions as a path to have a positive benefit on your behaviour.
Restoration
Make amends with yourself, whether it is through writing yourself an apology letter or just recognizing the outcome of the situation that has occurred.
Renewal
To be able to grow from the experience and not use the guilt and shame as a wall in the new path you may are taking.
Whether the forgiveness factor is because of the actions of another, you should be able to give yourself closure for what had happened. The difference between letting time pass and forgiveness is the latter can give closure that is necessary for you to grow as a person. Letting time pass can be a long and painful process for anyone. The act of forgiveness may not always equal forgetting and moving forward, but rather an act to help new perspectives to be a focus in your life.
“The 4 Rs of Self-Forgiveness.” Good-Thinking.uk, 2023, www.good-thinking.uk/blog/4-rs-self-forgiveness. Accessed 26 Feb. 2023.
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