Written by: Celine Yang
Artwork by: TVMB
Emotional abuse is a difficulty many people in our society face, which can often lead to a decay in one’s mental health. Of all the forms of emotional abuse, gaslighting can be one of the most prominent ones, especially because it is a ubiquitous problem many people in today’s society face. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that involves manipulation. It often occurs in abusive relationships where the abuser or bully misleads the target; as a result, this leads to a creating of a false narrative, making the target question their own judgements and reality. Making people question their decisions, gaslighting may often lead people to develop concerns for their mental health.
What is gaslighting?
“That never happened! You have a terrible memory! You’re too sensitive!” These are all the things people say when gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where the abuser aims to control the victim by twisting their thoughts and sense of reality. You may unconsciously be gaslighted by someone and this can be very harmful to someone as someone gaslighting you may make you think that you have done something wrong. For example, imagine you are in an abusive relationship with someone. They are abusive to you and every time you complain about the relationship being too abusive, they tell you that you’re too sensitive or that the relationship is normal. They even tell your family and friends that you guys are in a healthy relationship and blame you for thinking the relationship is being too abusive. They blame everything on you: They make you think that the reason why the relationship is abusive is because you do things wrong and they make it seem like you’re the one who's mentally unstable. This scenario is an exact representation where someone is being gaslighted. People can gaslight you easily especially when you are irrational and don’t have a lot of control over your emotions. Being the victim, you may become stressed or annoyed by the person who is gaslighting you. Questioning if you’re doing the right thing all the time and thinking you are doing the wrong thing when you did nothing wrong. All of this can add up to a lot of stress and may cause a toll to your mental health.
Avoiding Gaslighting
One’s mental health can get destroyed when getting gaslighting as it can cause stress, pressure, and suffering. With all these drawbacks of getting gaslighting, how are some ways to avoid it?
To begin with, it is crucial to cut off people who are toxic out of your life. For instance if you are in an abusive relationship, make sure to cut off the person who is abusing you. You may also be gaslighted by your closest friends; therefore, when you feel like you start to question yourself, always think if you are getting gaslighted. If you feel like you are, it is important to distance yourself from them or even cut that person off because being with that person is just going to make your mental health worse.
In addition to distancing yourself from abusers, another way to avoid gaslighting is to spend time with people you actually trust and that you have a healthy relationship with such as family or friends. Healthy relationships are going to ensure that your mental health is also healthy. Healthy relationship leads to healthy mental health; therefore, it is always important that you surround yourself with your true friends and family, avoiding getting gaslighted.
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