What does the word ‘lost’ mean to you?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, there are two meanings to define the word lost:
1. ‘not knowing where you are and how to get to a place’
2. ‘If something is lost, no one knows where it is or how to get to a place.’
However, I believe those two definitions cannot describe the entire meaning of lost. While dictionaries can provide a surface level of understanding of the words, only oneself can truly know what hides underneath—what alternative meanings a word holds. Lost isn’t just about being unknown or clueless about stuff; it is also about being trapped in an enclosed space, breathing erratically because there are no answers to the problem you behold in your heart. I believe everyone has been lost at least once in their life, either because the past is eating them up or the future seems unreachable and dark. But the real question is: how do we overcome it?
Before we answer the main question, let’s ask ourselves one thing: Why do we get lost? Well… There is no specific right or wrong answer. Many factors could influence how we perceive the world and ourselves; this can include factors concerning family and friends, identity, relationships, and more. However, there are two main words that influence our mental health the most: past and future. No one tends to focus on the present as the past and future are the two things people talk the most about.
Why the past? Because people want to know more about your background, where you came from and what experiences you have.
Why the future? Because people want to know what your plans are, what excitements you anticipate for and what your final goal in life is.
Whenever we discuss those two very specific topics, that is when we tend to change our perspectives on life, it can either go one way or another. In fact, some people state that the reason we get lost is that we overthink everything. Overthinking does seem like a hyperbole; some may find it offensive while some may find it truthful. But I believe that the reason why we overthink can be determined by three words: Sense of belonging.
What gives us meaning in our lives? Many would answer that question by saying ‘food’, ‘family’ or ‘friends’. But through those people and moments, it gives us a sense of belonging; it gives us a reason to continue living on and stay here. For example, when your parents hold you tight in their arms and whisper in your ear while stroking your hair, ‘we love you so much’, you fill up something in your heart. It is something warm and welcoming, and it brings you at ease. Belonging is such a powerful word; on one hand, it can hold the power to convince someone to carry on living their life; on the other, it can also hold a vicious power of hindering the lives of people. That is when we feel lost, and less excited for tomorrow. Maintaining the stability of the word ‘belonging’ is hard. To put it in an example, it is like building a castle with sand. We can use all our efforts and exertions to create a high, long-lasting castle, but it only takes one wave to crash it all down to the floor. By then, the sand gets too wet and soggy, making it almost impossible to rebuild a secure, well-built castle.
When people think they have lost their sense of belonging, they start to panic. Many pessimistic thoughts run like a fire in their heads, urging them to hurry up and figure out a way to make their situations better. But here is a question I want you to consider: Is rushing in a weak state always the best answer? This is like studying. If you force yourself to study when you are weak and ill, do you think you would actually learn anything? No. You won’t. Whatever study you think you learned never actually goes in your head, but into the trash bin located next to your brain. That’s the reason why doctors advise you not to study and to get rest when you are ill, because rushing doesn’t always equal the best outcome or answer. Alongside that, do not feel panicked. Being lost in life is a universal phenomenon that everyone needs to endure at least once in their life.
Is it a crime to be lost? No.
Is it a misery to be lost? Never.
Let’s go back to our starting question: how do we get our sense of belonging back? Once again, there is no right or wrong answer. But a lot of people tend to think that ‘it would get better if I wait.’ Even though many wise elders say that we need patience in life, this doesn't always apply in a good sense. The more we wait, the more anxious we become. Let’s conduct a small scenario. After waiting for a week, you slowly start to see some pure light starting to shine in your life after enduring endless pain. What would you say to yourself at that moment? Will it be something:
“Now, my life is better. I just need to keep moving forward towards the light”
“Am I too happy? When will this light go away again?”
I bet you chose the second one. The more you wait, the more you doubt if you are worthy of being happy. NEVER WAIT. The longer you wait, the deeper you will sink. The reason why people say that life is full of lessons is that they want us to embed the word ‘overcome’ into our hearts and thrive through unknown or unforeseeable roadblocks. As mentioned before, this never means for you to rush yourself into finding answers on how to renavigate your path. Even though it may take time, you need to find your own pace in life: a pace where you aren’t too fast or too slow. Remember that life doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes, we need to face barriers we have to jump over, but if we can’t find a way to, then we end up in an enclosed space—we are lost. But is that a bad thing? No. Just because you do not see any light above the barriers, shouldn’t be the reason why you don’t look forward to tomorrow. If you find optimism and resilience in your heart, you can eventually find your own pace on how to climb up the barrier and continue walking on your path.
‘Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.’
- Vivian Greene
Works Cited By Noodle Tools
Cambridge Dictionary. "Lost." Cambridge Dictionary, dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/lost.
Jonathan Lockwood Huie's Inspirational Quotes about Life. "Vivian Greene Quotes and Sayings Quotes by Vivian Greene." Jonathan Lockwood Huie's Inspirational Quotes about Life, www.quotes-inspirational.com/by/vivian-greene/.
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