Written by: Eunie Choi
Artwork by: Amy Cha
Ever stared at a blank document for hours because you couldn’t find the right word to start with? Or drew a graph with a ruler for five minutes that took everyone else only five seconds? Then you find yourself getting behind and have to rush to catch up and get stressed in the process? If all this sounds familiar, you are probably a perfectionist, like me. Healthy—or positive—perfectionism is a good way to keep yourself organized and strive towards your goal. Negative perfectionism, on the other hand, only sets unrealistic goals and becomes overly critical towards yourself (Afshar, 2011). And unfortunately, if you apply in the scenario above, I’m afraid you may be using your perfectionism in an unhealthy way and could even have OCD. But don’t worry—as a perfectionist who has and is experiencing the same struggles, I will try to help you.
Before anything else, what exactly is negative perfectionism and what does it lead to? As mentioned earlier, negative perfectionists tend to expect too much from themselves, which puts extra pressure on them and causes them to fail. This failure causes them to blame themselves for not working harder, inducing self-hatred and lower self-esteem. Eventually, these factors all lead to fear of making mistakes and being concerned when others have high expectations of them (Kelly, 2020). Unhealthy perfectionism can impact your mental and emotional health. In fact, people with this condition are more prone to mental disorders like anxiety and depression. According to Ana Sandoiu from Medical News Today, “ almost 30 percent of undergraduate students experience symptoms of depression, and perfectionism has been widely associated with these symptoms.”
So how do you know whether you are a negative perfectionist? The following is a list of signs identified by VETX International that you could have this trait:
Feeling like you always fail
Procrastinating frequently
Having trouble sharing your thoughts or emotion with others
Not being able to relax
Having an obsession over rules and work.
Though the signs above are not definitive, it doesn’t hurt to be more aware of your actions and your emotions. Even though your symptoms seem very light and insignificant, it is still better to discover them early before they transform into something worse: OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).
OCD—unlike perfectionism, which is simply a personality trait—is a controlling disorder where unwanted impulses and repetitive behavior dominate you. For example, if you had OCD, you could have an obsessive thought that your loved ones would get hurt if you don’t dress properly. A compulsive behavior would then cause you to get dressed and undressed several times to make sure that you are wearing your clothes properly (Modern Therapy). OCD is often described as an extreme version of perfectionism. Thus, you don’t want to leave your perfectionism in that unhealthy state because the continued stress from it could cause this disorder to manifest.
Then what can you do to fix your negative habits? First, start with having more compassion towards yourself. Accept that you are not and cannot be perfect. And that is okay. No one in the world is perfect and no one in the world will blame you for not being perfect. If you find this difficult to do, try to do them with therapeutic practices like yoga. Not only does this practice aid you in subduing your self-criticism, but also it allows you to relax and relieve stress. Some psychologists discovered that yoga boosted the patients’ self-compassion level by around 43 percent (Sandoiu, 2018). You can also try talking to other people about your condition and seek professional help. There are many approaches you can take to improve yourself so do whatever makes you feel comfortable at your own pace. Just don’t be afraid to try all these methods because we’re all here to support you.
Works Cited
Afshar, Hamid, et al. “Positive and Negative Perfectionism and Their Relationship with Anxiety and Depression in Iranian School Students.” Journal of Research in Medical Sciences : the Official Journal of Isfahan University of Medical Sciences, Medknow Publications & Media Pvt Ltd, Jan. 2011, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3063422/.
Owen Kelly, PhD. “Are You a Perfectionist? Some Perfectionist Traits Can Be Healthy.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 24 July 2020, https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-perfectionism-2510538.
Sandoiu, Ana. “The Effects of Perfectionism on Mental and Physical Health.” Medical News Today, MediLexicon International, 12 Oct. 2018, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323323#How-perfectionism-affects-our-overall-health.
Modern Therapy. “Differences between OCD and Perfectionism.” Modern Therapy, Modern Therapy, 12 Feb. 2019, https://moderntherapy.online/blog-2/ocd-and-perfectionism.
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